Head Coffin

Finally, I have proof that my boy isn’t seceretly a changling bot slipped in our home during the dark of night by automoton demons hoping to steal our flesh child and have their own metalic abomination raised in our boys’ stead, unsuspecting to us. Well not totaly unsuspecting. I’ve had my doubts to the legitimacy of my son’s claim on the human race for some time. From the way he sleeps with his eyes open, to the sound of fans whirring up to speed when he’s been crawling around for a while, I’ve had my suspicions as to my “son’s” origins.

However I no longer have to worry about that. I’ve gotten undeniable proof that my son is indeed carbon based, and that there is no circutry hidden behind that gleeful smile. That his laughing isn’t a pre-programend response to occure whenever we put on a hat. My fears where first eased when I witnessed him eating broccoli the other day. As some already know, broccoli is a robots vegitable weakness. They cannot maintain their synthetic skin if they attempt to consume this brillowy vegitable. Generaly it causes their faces to melt off, and beneath is just the piercing red gleam from their optical input sensors cataloging everything in either threat or non-threat catagories. However when Vinny consumed his broccolied meal, the worst that happened is some came out of his nose when he sneezed. Which, after a google search, turns out NOT to be an indicator of robotic pre-disposition.

Furthermore, I was able to peer into his insides, verifying what I already suspected to be pink and soft. See Vinny snores loudly, and yes that is another tell tell sign of automated response syndromes of robots, due to their poor understanding of human physiology. (and my poor spelling) robots think all humans snore. This is probably because of cartoons, or rock music, possibly video games are to blame as well. Heck why don’t we just rope D&D in there as well…. why not?

So Vinny’s Doctor suggested he may need is ActNoids out (that isn’t how they are spelled, thats just how one would pronounce them… or at least how I pronounce them) as they may be to big and is causing air restirction. The ActNoids are in the nose by the way. So we took Vinny to a Nose, Throat, and Ear specialist that specilizes in Noses, and Throats, and Ears. To verify Vinny’s doctors claim she stuffed a scope up his nose to take a look, and offered me to have a peek as well. I wasn’t about to turn down this oportunity to view the inner workings of my son, putting to rest my fear of his metalic orgins once and for all. Needless to say, it was pink and soft and a bit sticky. His ActNoids are blocking 95% of his air way. Which to me seems like thats something to panic over, I mean thats only 5% possible air coming in, I would think thats a big deal. I guess because he can also breath through his mouth (something that robots cannot do… breath that is) it must not be such a big deal.

On the 15th he’s going to get them removed… or better “mowed down” to better improve his breathing and hopefully aleviate his snoring. This hopefully will also help him sleep better at night, and by him, I really mean me. Cause waking up at 4 in the morning and trying to figure out how many ounces to put in a bottle and then how many scoops of formula to put in is basically math, and who wants to do math at 4 in the morning?