Head Coffin

So I was reading this post over here bout a recent BLAN I had attended. At first it seemed light hearted, presented from the opinion of an outside observer. Until I really started thinking about it. The post was full of hate and disgust towards the geek. It dripped of antinerd venom and was nothing more then down right insulting to anyone who enjoys computer games.

It drove such a reaction in me I felt I had to respond, to point out the subtle dislike and disgust the author has for those of us that jokingly refer to ourselves as geeks.

This blog post clearly illustrates the authors Anti-Geekmatic propaganda’s, and only proliferates common and incorrect Nerd stereo types. Not only that but it’s full of inaccurate, and possibly misleading, information.

First and foremost the tables are not setup in a haphazard manner. As if BLAN participants are mindless Neanderthals mulling about with folding tables. This is the kind of impression the author would want you to believe, but don’t be fooled. Table setup follows a law of social dominance and importance. The thickest cluster of tables represent those that are hosting, or having the event hosted in their honor. Those that are closest in relation are then joined nearest this “head” table. The others on the outskirts either know the Host the least, or arrived the latest (as in my case which both where true). The ones setup on a table sitting on some cardboard boxes are the tards that didn’t bring a chair or table and deserve what they get.

Masses of cords of all sizes and colors crisscrossed the floor in a hectic fashion and lay in piles here and there.

There are only two kinds of cords, Ethernet cables, which come in only one size, and orange extension cables, of which there was only three. To say that they crossed in a hectic fashion is a bit of a generalization as well. They ran straight as an arrow to the switch. We just didn’t sit in a straight row is all.

The air was rank with geek sweat

That hasn’t been the case since the BLAN of 02, when it was mandated, and has been the case from then on, that all participants must be freshly washed and deodorized. This was made famous in the case of “Norm and Lee vs the people of the LAN” and has been the rule ever since.

The lights in half the space were turned off leaving the glow of monitors the only light source in these areas.

They were not so much turned off, as simply never turned on. Which with how much power we where sucking out of that house, I think was an act of politeness to avoid an already abundant power bill.

This perception was furthered by the fact that many of the geeks appeared to have entered some sort of catatonic state.

As anyone who’s played the vidjamagames will tell you, playing such games puts one in a simulated state of suspended awareness. One becomes unaware of hunger, thirst, shoulder ache, and fatigue. Once stopping the game these things come crashing back on you, so the best bet is to just continue to play to avoid such a thing.

They were only aware of the screen in front of them and the sole indication that they were actually alive was the occasional twitching of their fingers.

That’s hardly the case, in fact most of the pictures provided are of rather animated activity on the part of the participants. Another blantant attempt of the author to paint BLAN participants as fat lethargic stinky nerds. Not only that but playing a game requires much more then finger twitching, it also involves soda drinking, and properly timed obscenities aimed at the proper individual. Also how could the geeks be completely unanimated, then in the next sentence the comment:

Other geeks were very animated.

Which is it? Seems to me that whatever one puts BLAN participants in the worst light is the image the author is trying to portray of the geeks in.

faint whirl of CPU fans could be heard.

It’s actually Power supply and case fans one hears more often than not. CPU fans really are not all that loud, or not compared to these two items. A simple mistake on the Authors part due to unfamiliarity with the computer, but a mistake that seems to be repeated more often than not throughout the whole post.

I still could not stomach it for more than a few minutes.

This would give the readers the impression that barbaric and highly mannlistic activities go on at a BLAN that do not occur at a normal LAN. A Normal LAN that I know firsthand the author has attended for hours on end on more then one occasion. This simply isn’t the case, the only difference between a BLAN and a normal LAN is that the participants don’t have to work as hard to get the OK from the spouse (or future spouse) to go to it. THAT’S IT; everything else is pretty much the same. How is it that the Author can go to a LAN, and participate, geek sweat and all, yet a BLAN is unstomachable? It’s not possible that’s how. This is just another attempt on the Author’s part to slip in anti-geekmatic statements.

I suspect they would have played longer if Andrew had not poorly planned his transportation arrangements. He and Simone rode over together. She entertained herself elsewhere for quite a while, but in the end she still needed to drive him home.

Ok yeah that was poorly planned on his part, who has your wife to be drive you home from your own BLAN? It’s just retarded is what it is, short bus, special school, eat with your fingers, good at counting, bad at pronouncing, special Olympics retarded. No excuse for such a obvious BLAN Blunder.

Unlike other posts here at headcoffin, this here post contains no pictures from the infamous N95. This is due to the fact this is a response blogging, instead of an original work. That and I don’t want to give the Author of the original posting any more ammunition for her anti-geekmatic hate crimes. Instead one can feel free to peruse the pictures posted on this other site for such media needs. But you have been warned.