Head Coffin

So what kid hasn’t at some time seriously considered the possibility that their parents are actually robots? That their real parents where murdered in their beds and replaced with cheap knockoffs that seem to have everyone fooled but yourself?  That the only way to determine such a fact is to sneak in their room and open up their insides to proove that it’s just wires and gears that make them run. Who hasn’t, as a kid, been terrified of finding thier parents plugged into the walls instead of asleep in thier beds? I know I have. And as a new parent let me say that there is a time or two when I’m worried when Vinny decides to cut me open and view my insides, checking for wires or gears.

Maybe old habits die hard, cause I suspect my kid may very well be a robotic automaton, secretly snuck in by a gang of changeling androids. Maybe it’s this whole new parent thing, OR maybe it’s cause secertly he is a robot. I’ve been gathering proof of such a fact for some time. In fact I’ve reached the point where I feel the need to start documenting my findings, in order to make sure that if my son does rise up and destroy his meat bag gaurdians the truth will be documented.

I first became suspicious when it became apparent that at times Vinny can sleep with his eyes open. Besides robots, the only other thing that sleeps with their eyes open are sharks and I’ve already checked for gills (there where none). You could go in his room to take a peek at him, and he’s got his eyes open peeking back at you, probably calculating human weak points and progressive life termination algorythims is what I suspect while he’s in this “low power mode”

I’ve also been able to determine Vinny’s default Exception error handling routine, uncontrollable giggling. I suspect those sneaky mechanical mimicers put this in place as the normal robotic handling of an exception, killing all the skin sacks they can see, would be a bit more susipicous of an activity.

I can get this to trigger easily by providing optic feedback, namely putting him in front of a mirror, he goes into this kind of infaninte loop:

while(optics = this)

{
throw(excpetion.giggle);
};

Seriously he can spend hours in front of the mirror just repeating his little program.

And lets not forget that every once in a while his robotic spring just suddenly goes off, causing all his limbs to burst out at all angles, for no apparent reason. He doesn’t even notice this happening, which I suspect on bad software testing on the part of the dopleganging first generation models part.

I mean just look at that picture, you can see the cold calculating murdering eyes in the way he’s staring at me.

I suspect that as time goes on, the sophistication of the AI programming will begin to become apparant, but as of now, there are quite a few tell tell signs that let me know I still have some time before he rises up against us, as is the fate of all robotic creations. First of all, when he gets low in virtual memory and initiates his sleep routine, there is still some objects in his memory which, when getting purged from his cache, cause an out of bounds exception, throwing his default handing of such a situation.  For example when getting really tired he will laugh to himself, for no apparent reason, just suddenly starts giggling.At least I hope it’s some default subroutine, and not him imagining the demise of his “skin sack” gaurdians… those being us. Why just look at him. Perfectly conetnt now that he has fully ingested a gigant amount of human slaughtering fuel. And I don’t think he ususes the mouth for his refueling, but absorbs the biochemical product through contact.

In fact I suspect the most absorbent part of him is his fingers, due to the fact that when feeding him, he insits on dipping his fingers into the spoon and smear it all over his face, instead of putting it in his mouth.  Also, as you can see from this picture, every once in a while I capture his true robotic essence in film, just look at those red glowing eyes, only robots and evil giant rat creatures have such things, I know I looked it up on Google and thats what I found.

I only hope that we can better train him to resist his natural hatred for humans, or at least provide a filtering setting, maybe just PETA.. seriously do we really need those people?