Head Coffin

I have been an avid sitter, sleeper, and non mover since my early adult years and as such my butt has always been my powerhouse. But sadly, after only a few weeks of forced activity, my left cheek muscle has strengthened an enormous amount. Although this is normal for someone in my circumstances, it’s depressing that muscles that took years to flab out can suddnely show up again in a matter of weeks. My left cheek has become remarkably toned and flexes now like the flexy backside of a active 18 year old. It looks disturbingly tight and firm and out of place attached next to my right cheek, which has retained its complete lack of muscle mass.
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So what kid hasn’t at some time seriously considered the possibility that their parents are actually robots? That their real parents where murdered in their beds and replaced with cheap knockoffs that seem to have everyone fooled but yourself?  That the only way to determine such a fact is to sneak in their room and open up their insides to proove that it’s just wires and gears that make them run. Who hasn’t, as a kid, been terrified of finding thier parents plugged into the walls instead of asleep in thier beds? I know I have. And as a new parent let me say that there is a time or two when I’m worried when Vinny decides to cut me open and view my insides, checking for wires or gears.

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